From Jersey with Love
This is The Girl. I’ve infiltrated Shaun’s site. He can’t write his own post today because apparently the flu makes no discount for chivalry. Yes, that’s right after coming all the way to New Jersey to get me and bring me home to be sick in my own bed, The Boy’s reward was a violent case of the flu. This is the nastiness flu I’ve ever had and encountered. Since flu season has just started, I thought I would share with you what I’ve learned.
The Girl’s Flu Survival Kit: 1. Water (obvious but important) 2. Gatorade (for that deep down body thirst and it tastes better than Pedialyte) 3. Plastic Bags (lots of them, for that deep down body burst) 4. Sprite (my substitution for the classic ginger ale option) 5. Bread/Toast (if you get through the 6 to 12 hours of not being able to keep anything down) 6. Straws (because every-time you sit up you find yourself wishing you hadn’t) 7. Your basic over the counter stomach solutions (to solve whatever problems your stomach is having) 8. Decaffeinated Green Tea (hot, feels good going down doesn’t feel too bad coming back up)
Basically, my suggestion for not catching the flu is to stay inside. Don’t visit anyone. Don’t shake hands. Don’t touch doorknobs. Cancel all appointments and hibernate until flu season is over. If this is not possible (I wish it were), I wish you and the rest of us the best of luck.
025 Comments
OMG. Stay away! I have never been as sick as you guys sound. If I were, I’d spend the week in a drunken haze (if possible).
ew, the kissing disease. Oh wait, that’s the mumps. Maybe you have to stop being so damn friendly and shaking everyone’s hand. Get well soon old chap.
Feel better, Shaun. Have your grandfather Peter Falk come over and read you a story.
I thought mono was the kissing disease. Mumps is the handshake disease, and the measles is the coy glance disease.
yep, Jersey will do that to ya. You have to build up an immunity to Jersey Shaun. What amde you think you could jump in and back out again with nothign infecting you… silly love stricken boy. Feel Better… I hate the taste but TheraFlu Rocks!
Ummm…. the “flu” and the “stomach flu” are two totally different viruses. To me it sounds more like the stomach flu.
Don’t forget the Emergen-C, it’s the surefire flu-buster. Found at health food stores (and even some box grocery stores) far and wide. I’d like to say that we helped cure Mr. Croft with this recommendation, but who’s to say for sure.
I had my flu last week, but bronchitis decided to attach itself to the end of it, so I got to stay in bed for a whole week. One good thing: I was able to catch up on my favorite shows by watching seasons of DVDs that I got for Christmas.
Right, Craig. I’m still surprised how many people refer to stomach bugs as “the flu.” Hasn’t that news story been aired a million times by now?
Hope you get better, Shaun.
you need to add one more item to that list…
Had this a few weeks back - horrible stuff.
Crap! now i’m scared. my boss was out for a week at work with this ‘flu,” and now you both have it and you only live 2 blocks away. it’s getting closer! Ian, we gotta get outa this town!
The Niff, take your crazy Lysol Wipees into work and wipe the place down. It’s there, you must desroy it.
That my friends is love, sharing germs for valentines day, what could be sweeter. I mean, thats just… damn poor kid.
Feed a Cold, Starve a Flu.
flu handbook ammend 1.1
don’t eat, at all. until those hourly vommits have stopped, drink only water, with a teaspoon full of salt. (gatorade has E#’s) soft toilet paper (large quantities, very large.) dry toast
then… if you can keep it down..
sprite love happiness.
viola
oh, and take some echinacea every day for the winter in future and if your a non smoker i can absolutely promise you that you wont get sick from cold or flu.
Don’t forget Dextrose tablets! With a hard round of stomach pain, you drain your body physically for energy, the longer the less energy, and these tablets help you gain that energy without having to use too much energy to digest, since much of it gets into your blood before it reaches the stomach.
Best wishes!
I had flu about 10 years ago and I thought I was going to die - of course I wasn’t, but being dramatic made me feel better.
Hope you get well soon, Shaun, and I’m glad you’re well now, The Girl.
I can sympathize with you guys.. The g/f got over a particularly nasty bout with the flu.. It was pretty bad, she was gagging and throwing up uncontrollably, so bad that at once point she crapped herself WHILE throwing up. EWW! A quick trip to the doctor, and he gave her a shot of something that stopped her from throwing up. After that, she recovered pretty quickly. Crazy stuff!
Good Luck to you. Hope you get over it soon.
Drink some coke… supposed to calm the stomach… old wifestale??
Hope you get better soon, so you can enjoy the company.
I understand, The flu can be a nasty and somewhat uncertain period. Personnaly, i’ve just gone skiing in the Alps, the last night, i was up all night, as you eliquently say, it was violent! i did however pefect the art offinding you way your to the bathroom in pitch black. It wouldn’t have bothered me too much, IF I DIDN’T HAVE TO CATCH A PLANE HOME! THE NEXT DAY!! oh well, it’s just a memory now, quite funny all things considered, because i was sharing a room with 3 other guys! who, you guest it, were all i’ll as well. It was like piccadilly circus in there that night. Hope you get well
Ah!!!!, attack of the dreaded MAN-FLU!!! run for the hills!!!
I think you gave it to me shaun..even though i haven’t seen you..i blame YOU for this jersey illness…only jersey could start such an outbreak.
this actaully reminds me of new years eve a few years back, when my brother and i both got the flu at the same time…we only had 1 bathroom, so we where in and out passing eachother in the hall. Nothing like the smell of someone elses poo and vomit to make you poo and vomit more. Get better.
I love how, when I come home and I pass you while holding my breath, waving cloves of garlic over my computer area trying to sterizile my keyboard you tell me you aren’t sick. Then I find out on the friggun’ Internet that not only are you sick but you’ve got the dreaded SI_Flu!?! I’m sorry, The Niff. I can no longer trust you. PS: Wash your dishes. With bleach.
Sorry for conversing with ian on your site shaun, but i MUST say…i said “I felt better!” not that i wasn’t sick. ANNND, you didn’t wave garlic over me….you waved a big yellow onion. yes, an onion.
I wish that we could implement the ever wishfull hibernation theme. Sleep is good. Hope he gets better.
i came down with a huge body/head cold yesterday, still dealing with, having to go to work on days like these sucks! Body chills, heat spells, swimming in a head of clouds, aching to the bone.. snotting out god knows what. i had the flu this winter, and i’ll be damned if i didn’t get the aftermath cold. whomever gave me this, i hope you feel better.
besides all that, hope everyone gets well soon.